


New Beginnings

by callmeincognito



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Hogwarts, Redeemed Draco Malfoy, Redemption, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:55:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24033898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callmeincognito/pseuds/callmeincognito
Summary: "We find ourselves in unexplainable, unpredictable circumstances. As much as we’d like to control it, some things simply cannot be. Even for the most controlling and logical of souls, this painful fact is inevitable. Some choices you look upon and ask why. Why must we behave this way? Why must we cause the people we hold dearly so much pain? Most answers can be found within selfish desire. ‘Why’ we ask, because we want to. But what force can override even the strongest of will power to selfish desire? What entity pushes every brute force of strength you would have never thought to be quested? What omnipotent power has been the beginning of wars, the downfall of civilizations, and the first thing we learn from birth? Love."After the second wizarding war, Hogwarts re-opens, and it's mandatory that every student attends to make up the previous year. As Ron, Hermione, and Harry spend their summer growing closer than ever; they soon find out that more than just old friends will be meeting them this year. Will the ministries leniency on Draco Malfoy prove to be a mistake, or will he have changed for the better?
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley
Kudos: 4





	1. Prideful

**Author's Note:**

> hi! thanks so much for click on my story and supporting my work! please feel free to leave feedback and enjoy!

We find ourselves in unexplainable, unpredictable circumstances. As much as we’d like to control it, some things simply cannot be. Even for the most controlling and logical of souls, this painful fact is inevitable. Some choices you look upon and ask _why_. _Why must we behave this way? Why must we cause the people we hold dearly so much pain?_ Most answers can be found within selfish desire. ‘Why’ we ask, _because we want to_. But what force can override even the strongest of will power to selfish desire? What entity pushes every brute force of strength you would have never thought to be quested? What omnipotent power has been the beginning of wars, the downfall of civilizations, and the first thing we learn from birth? _Love_."

After the war, we couldn’t possibly fathom what would be next. A life? Jobs? Normality? Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you viewed it, the answer was neither. In a haste, the ministry had decided that it would be a service to all seventh-year wizards to make up the year they missed. As much as many of us would have liked to progress from the atrocity we faced with the certainty that we were ready for the prospects the future held; we were anything but prepared. Hogwarts would always be a place of tremendous fondness for every student who walked its halls, but I believe it gave great comfort for many of us to know not every hardship had to be faced yet.

We’d been staying in the cottage with the Weasley’s for the duration of the summer. Harry or I didn’t have a home to go to and it felt only right to make up for the lack of time we had spent apart. I stayed in Ginny’s room and Harry stayed with Ron. Our summer was filled with laughter and simple, happy memories. We were content to just sit outside in one another’s company, or stare at the sky trying to configure the strangest shapes we could. Often times we reminisced on our fondest memories or talked about things we wished to do.

After everything was settled, my relationship with Ron was convoluted, to say the least. We both knew we had feelings for one another, but something just wasn’t right about the timing. I wanted to be with him, I truly did, but I wanted to be with him as myself. I knew things were too fragile and emotions worn too thin by the consequences of war. I didn’t want our relationship to be bonded by tragedy and necessity. I wanted to be with him, and him with me, not because we felt that we were dying but because we felt that we were dying without each other. Perhaps it was irrational and selfish of me, but perhaps it saved us all the pain of an inescapable codependent relationship. Because I wanted to wait till things were a little more stable didn’t mean that I didn’t want to be with him. By all accounts of the word _dating_ , you could say we were. Emotionally, we undeniably were. But we were vastly different people than we once were. I had to fall in love with who Ron now was, who he would become, and likewise myself. I would be doomed if I dated Ron and told myself I loved him because I’ve always loved him, I did and still do, but everything was different.

The wizarding world was in complete shambles. The entire summer was spent hunting and gathering every death-eater or wizard in association with Voldemort. After hundreds of trials and continuous pleas that the imperious curse was in use, most were found guilty. If not guilty, then sentenced to heavy probation. The news was a riot with each coming day. Floods of details were spilled across the front page. Then one fateful August morning it happened.

Each morning I would wake before Ginny, and this morning followed the same. Occasionally I would sneak a glance and admire her while she slept in her disheveled state. I adored the person she had become, so headstrong in her views and confident in her abilities. Though I loved Ron and Harry dearly, it was nice to have female companionship around and someone who at times wasn’t so…thick. I made my way downstairs and sat with a cup of tea waiting for the old brown barn owl that would perch himself atop the window’s ledge. Soon enough he arrived, and what with, I couldn’t have guessed.

Unable to contain my excitement, I rushed to Ron’s room. In a wave of blinding emotions, I pushed open the door, momentarily forgetting that this wasn’t a tent we shared but rather a private room.

“Ron, Harry it’s happened!” The two sat up, wands at the ready. “Sorry, bad habit.”

Harry lowered his wand and sloppily shoved his glasses up the bridge of his nose, “It’s alright but it’s early Hermione. What’s _it_ that’s happened?”

“The Daily Prophet has just arrived, listen.”

  
**_Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy sentenced to 20 years in Azkaban_**  
  
_In a stunning break of news two of the dark lord’s closest accomplices were sentenced to 20 years in Azkaban with revision of sentencing after 5 years. Son and heir to the Malfoy fortune, Draco Malfoy, has been granted Level 4 probation. He has been set to attend a mandatory year at Hogwarts under strict provisions_.  
  


The news was enough to get Ron in a dazed state of consciousness, “Bloody hell. So he’ll be at Hogwarts then?” Harry shifted uncomfortably, his eyes squinting to adjust to the dawn breaking. “I guess so.”

* * *

Two weeks later and we were on the familiar train that we had taken so many times before. It was odd to be in this environment once again, hearing peers laugh, and acquaintances walk up and down the aisles. We knew things would be different, there was no possible way they could even be the slightest bit ordinary. But what we didn’t account for was just how uncomfortable everything would be. For the most part, everyone had always known who we were, Harry made sure of that when he managed to get us wrapped up in _something_ annually. Even so, now people didn’t just stare but gawked. They watched us walk by as if we were an unconquerable force or un-earthly beings. Not that the praise wasn’t appreciated, but praise isn’t what we sought. Our only desire was to be normal. If anything, this consistently put me on edge. More than anything I despised being put on such a high pedestal. Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate being acknowledged for my abilities, but when other’s expectations of you are so high it often feels as if it’s impossible to meet them. I did think I was brilliant, but I was also just me. What would happen if just being myself wasn’t enough anymore?

“Hermione.” Ron’s sobering voice brought me back to reality.

“Sorry, what was that again?” Truthfully, I missed the entirety of their conversation, but it felt too impolite to admit.

“We were asking how you felt about Draco being at Hogwarts this year.” Harry clarified.

I thought for a second, then began to work my thoughts aloud, “I’m ambivalent, I suppose. I’ve tried to think over this for the past couple of weeks, but I just don’t know how to feel about him. He’s awful, and there’s no getting around that. But I can’t help but think if all he testified was true, then I suppose I just feel pity for his lot in life. I can only hope he regrets the person he once was and uses this to show everyone he’s changed.”

“Pity his lot? Poor rich boy Draco who had everything handed to him and still managed to make the worst possible choices. Your hopes are too high, even if he was put up to all those things. He’s a bastard, and obviously I don’t think he’s doing the dark lord’s biddings any longer, but I do think he’s only interested in how he can serve himself.” Ron spat unapologetically.

“Listen, I’m not saying he wasn’t, or isn’t wealthy, and that he didn’t have every chance to correct those things but…I guess I also am. He tried to do right in the end –”

“When it benefitted him because he realized that now he was no longer on the winning side.”

“But before that, when he said he didn’t recognize harry—”

“I’m sure it was him really not recognizing harry, not his benevolence.”

“Ron, I don’t want to argue. Not over this of all things. If you would just read his testimony perhaps you could understand better. Even if he did paint a story in self-preservation, a lie can only get you so far. There must be some truth to his plea. He was a child, just like the rest of us, desperately seeking attention from the people who he so badly craved approval. Yes, you could argue at some point he was old enough to realize the weight his actions would carry, but by then it was too late. Even if he wanted to heroically join the cause, it was no longer just his life on the line. I just don’t want to spend this year engaging in any petty squabbles. I would rather try to understand and swallow my judgment then continue to fight against what has already been done.”

“I read enough of it.”

“You didn’t even r—”

“Okay,” Harry chimed in before the conversation escalated any further, “can you two please not argue?” I began to open my mouth in protest but harry was quicker. “Or have a _detailed discussion_ , if you want to call it. Because that’s going to make this ride extremely uncomfortable, and I think that’s the last thing we need today.”

I glanced between the two of them, slightly annoyed, then let my resentment for the topic dissipate. Silence passed for a few seconds before Ron broke it with a childish fit of laughter, “Do you think Neville and Luna have shagged yet?” Harry tried to keep his composure then joined in laughing, unable to hold back any longer.

“You two are truly abhorrent.”

* * *

The dining hall was a plentiful conjuncture of bodies. The smiling faces of first years, the laughter of reunited friends, and professor McGonagall sat in the seat of honor at the head table. The happiness teeming through every fiber of my body was unexplainable. The entirety of the war was difficult, but one of the most painful things was seeing somewhere I considered a second home to be destroyed brick by brick. Now, we would get to reminisce our happiest memories one last time. There were a few seconds of unaccounted time, and then the entire dining hall fell silent.

He walked in with a mask that concealed pure dread. His eyes avoided every soul in the room. The only mission Draco Malfoy was preoccupied with was to find his place among the few companions he had. Yes, every former death eater that was mandated to attend Hogwarts was known, but none of them were him. By this time, anyone who had read the Daily Prophet knew every detail of Malfoy’s story, and it burned him to his core. Self-preservation always comes at a price, and he had paid his. I have never taken even the slightest of fondness to Malfoy; let alone take the time to kin an understanding to who he is and why he does the heinous things he does. But anyone that can lift a wand knows he’s prideful, and there is no better punishment for pride than pure, unadulterated, honesty. Pride is one of the most difficult faults there is to harbor because, at some point, the truth always reveals itself. People like Malfoy who have pride so far embedded into who they are struggle when they must face reality because they’ve spent their entire lives painting a picture that never existed. We can all be prideful, afraid to admit our faults, and face the actuality of what lies ahead. But even when he had nothing left to grasp, Malfoy continues to believe everyone is beneath him, for his own sanity. Conceivably, I could be sizing him up entirely too quickly, but it’s difficult to be unbiased when his face shows not even the slightest sign of remorse.

I couldn’t help but laugh under my breath. “Is there something we missed?” Asked Harry who was now half drowning in pumpkin juice.

“Be careful, it’s a crime to laughed now Hermione.” Teased Ginny.

“I’m just laughing at how _absolutely_ absurd he is. I mean, I don’t expect him to look upset, but walking in here like he’s better than the rest of us? Perhaps just a bit of decency…”

Ron turned his head slowly, eyes squinted in an accusatory fashion. “Is this the same person who was going on about ‘ _he was just a child_ ’ and ‘ _he’s changed_ ’.”

“Would you give it a rest! Unlike you, I’m trying to look at the positives in this situation. There are a lot of complicated things about this scenario that you more than anyone should understand. Moving forward nothing is ever going to be black and white, and just because I said that maybe he’s changed doesn’t mean I was advocating that he has. Being self-aware isn’t a crime, and if you’re ever going to progress past the same narrative you keep perpetuating you should try it yourself sometime.” After hours of his comments, I couldn’t bear to hear it anymore. I always felt bad telling him off when Ginny was around, but he barely listened to me telling him off in private, I could only hope to scold him in such an uncomfortable situation would cause him to ease up.

“So what I’m here is: I was right that Malfoy is still a prat, and you were wrong in your crusade.” Ron continued to push.

“Mate give it a rest. Hermione’s right, we should all be trying to view people in a new light, even if they haven’t changed for the better.” Harry once again tried to mediate, but my annoyance was now overriding my better judgment.

“No, Harry, because that’s obviously not what this discussion is about to Ronald. It’s about him ignoring everything I say, and him being right. So let’s grant him the king of this discussion. And look at that, us continuing to talk about Malfoy while he’s over there unbothered by our existence, just great isn’t it? Let’s move onto something else, how’s everyone frittata?” The damage was done before I could undo it. I should feel sorry, but I don’t. Ron knew how to get under my skin like no one else, and whether that was a good or bad thing, I was still trying to figure out. I hated letting him get the better of me, but I knew I wasn’t wrong. He purposely pushed my buttons because he knew how to. He did it because he knew I was right, and he was wrong. _Or was I myself being prideful?_


	2. Perception

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry, I posted this later than expected due to exams! Hopefully, I'll be more consistent with the upcoming chapters.

Even through our forced civilized conversation at dinner, the atmosphere was suffocating. Three courses had never felt so slow, and for the remainder of the time, I began to dwindle down a path of self-involved reflection. I knew I was always right, with an 8% room for error of course. But besides that, I knew I was always right. I spend my time to methodically ensure _I’m right_ ; doing the research, scanning through tens of hundreds of books. Nevertheless, my frustrations with Ron aren’t the fact that he has an opinion or disagrees with me, but that his opinions themselves _just annoy me._ There is no adequate explanation, which annoys me further. There’s a reason for everything. If I’m annoyed with Ron, there must be some sound reasoning. Try as I may I can never seem to find it. Maybe the answer was me, that I was projecting my inward frustrations, and this had nothing to do with him. I couldn’t be sure these days, and that was the issue within itself. I would be doing Ron and myself a disservice by lacking the patience and clarity to commit myself wholeheartedly to him.

After dinner was dismissed, Ginny pulled me aside. Her smile was welcoming but I knew the frustration it concealed. “Hermione—” but before she could be pained with formalities, I saved her the trouble. “Ginny, just spit it out. I know when you’re annoyed.” She paused, still piecing together her words then began, “You and Ron need to figure it out. But more importantly, you need to figure it out. He likes you, dare I even say loves you—”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“He does, and you know it. The decision rests on you. If you want to date him, you know he would never say no. But if you _don’t_ ,” – she put an accusatory emphasis on that word — “then you should tell him that, it’s the least you could do for his sake. I love you, but it’s exhausting seeing you argue and boil over with angst every time you bicker. And you two exchange these secretive loving glances, which by the way are not secretive we all see you giving them. I know you’ve probably got it figured out in your head, but you need to talk with him tonight. Set the tone for this last year right by either spending it with him or giving him a clear piece of mind that he needs to start figuring out other plans.”

I couldn’t help but feel upset at her words, but that was only because I knew she was correct. This discussion was long overdue with Ron, but I was dreading it.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. I agree, our bickering and back and forth atmosphere is draining. But the truth is Ginny that I don’t know, I’m unsure of so many things. I know he cares for me, and it’s impossible _not_ to care for him but there’s just so many things I’m fearful of going wrong. You all are like family to me, and I can’t lose you.

Her expression softened and she glanced down before meeting my eyes once more. “ _I’m sorry._ I should have taken that more into consideration before so vehemently speaking. Just please promise me you’ll speak to him tonight?”

“I promise.”

* * *

Later in the common room, everyone sat around the fire catching up and sharing old memories; the first years were getting acquainted and beginning to form friendships that would last a lifetime. I sat next to Ginny on the couch to the right of the fireplace, Harry and Ron sat at our feet. I struggled to find the courage within me to have the dreaded discussion I promised, but I knew It must be done. When the chatter began to hasten, I placed a hand on Ron’s shoulder and whispered softly into his ear, “Can we talk?” He turned, for a second concerned, then his expression softened in the same manner as Ginny, and he nodded encouragingly, “Of course.”

I led him down the stairs to the lower balcony of the tower, I figured everyone would be gathered in the common room or upstairs so it would be the only place away from unwanted ears. “Is everything alright?” He began to press before I could execute a direction. I had to be honest, for his sake and mine.

“Do you ever get tired of bickering with each other?”

He paused for a moment, “No. I quite think it’s what makes us, _us._ And to be honest I thought you enjoyed arguing with me. You never call it arguing, just ‘ _An elaborated_ _discussion_ ’.”

“I suppose so, but do you think it bothers other people? Our back and forth arguing?” The question felt wrong to ask but Ginny’s comments made me self-conscious. I figured others had taken observation to our habits. If it was that noticeable, was it really just playful arguing or something more.

“Even if it does bother people, what is it their business? Since when do you care what other people think?”

“I don’t,” Now it was I who was pausing, struggling to contain the inevitable word vomit that would soon follow my loss for expression. “I just wonder, why do we argue so much more than other coup— _people_.” It was like a bad name slip I couldn’t take it back. I wasn’t looking into his eyes, but I knew he wore a boyish grin across his face. “Harry and Ginny don’t argue as much as we do. No _other people_ I know bicker as much as we do, even if it is just an elaborated dialogue.”

“Harry and Ginny don’t argue because Harry knows not to go there. He doesn’t bother to get Ginny worked up because it just won’t end well in his case. Not to mention he doesn’t have the energy to put up with it. I argue with you because I like hearing what you have to say, I want to think about things differently than before, even if they annoy me. I’m skeptical and stubborn so yes, I do push the conversation further than may be necessary, but I don’t do it to intentionally bother you. I’m assuming this is about dinner?”

I felt like such an utter ass now. I was so enwrapped in my own annoyance I couldn’t take a moment to just be patient with him. “Partly, yes.”

“Well, that was different. I didn’t drop the conversation because Malfoy is thoroughly the lowest form of scum there is. You’re kind, and I know you’re trying to be rational, but I will never forgive him or his family for what happened.” I could hear the anger in Ron’s voice begin to grow, the underlying strain.

“I know your frustration, I do.” I could feel the hairs on my arms begin to rise, my eyes burn, and throat tighten. There were too many painful memories associated with this conversation; ones that I wasn’t ready and didn’t want to discuss. “But it wasn’t him. For my sake, and for yours, you cannot associate that with him. If you continue to do that, I will spend every day re-living the worst memory of my life.”

He looked instantly regretful, the implications of his actions coming to light. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean it th—”

But I saved him the trouble before he could pain himself, “I know, but I would just rather not press on the issue.”

“Of course.”

“But why I did call you here, is well, for one what we already discussed. But another this is really…us. What do you want?”

He looked past me for a minute, outside to the grounds. The faint periwinkle sky was lighting the side of his face as he was lost in thought. His eyebrows furrowed up in contempt then loosened. “What do you want?” He said, now looking into my eyes.

“I ask what _you_ wanted.”

“I want you, and a family. To wake up next to you not because we're in a tent running for our lives but because I love you, and you love me. But truthfully, it doesn’t matter what I want. It’s what you want Hermione.”

I was now regretting asking this question. The guilt hit like a tidal wave, and I found myself looking for any reason not to give the truth. If I told Ron his feelings were reciprocated, he would forever live with the knowledge that I was always inches from his grasp. Yet, if I lied, I would forever resent myself, knowing it would only make me want him more.

“I do like you, and I’m sure by now you know that. By diving straight into this I risk so much. Say we do work out, and live a long happy life. But say we don’t; I can’t risk losing you and Ginny and Harry. You can say that it won’t happen, but say it does. It would be such an insufferable environment.”

Ron was now parallel to me on the windows ledge and we turned to face one another. He met my gaze unwavering, and took a final breath. “I understand, but we can’t go on like this forever.”

* * *

By the time we were done the common room had cleared out. Ginny was in her dormitory, so I decided it best to just leave it until tomorrow morning. All that discussion had done was grow my restlessness for the coming day. I wanted to be with Ron, more than I would have liked to admit. But would being with him be worth the risk of losing everyone dear to me, or would being without him and holding onto those I love be worth the regret?


End file.
